Love

Although I believe that many people have their own sense of REALITY, I think that just like beauty love is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes the love we get from our partner is not adequate, or up to parr. However, from their perspective the love they give is just fine. Where is the common ground? Who decides if this is love or not? Shouldn't we be loved the way we want to? Oftentimes, I look at women who are always in abusive relationships that to me seem unfufilling and hurtful and I realize this Love, maybe the type of love they want, or need. There are plenty of women out here asking for good men but aren't ready for that type of love. I've watched my own mother go from one abusive relationship to the next and finally, when she meets the man of her dreams, who respects her and treats her as an equal, she disrespects him and abuses him the same way those other men did her. Are we really ready for those things that we ask for?? For me personally, I believe love is the state in which one deceives themselves about someone else. When you are "In LOVE" you can't tell a good man from a serial killer. We see things how we want, we trick ourselves into accept those things we otherwise wouldn't deal with. I was once "In LOVE", I lost myself in that person, I would do anything for them. Even though we were on two different paths, I fooled myself into believing that our relationship was fate when in reality it was very destructive and one-sided. I would skip classes I was paying for to be with this individual, and it meant nothing to them. I made a lot of stupid sacrifices and choices. In the end after they cheated on me, I realized no matter what I did for them, how much I supported them, they were accustomed to being in relationships where people didn't care about them and they were not able to accept the Love I was giving them. It was their sense normalcy that I was attacking, pushing them to learn about themselves and realizing their dreams was too much. As a young single woman, I know that I cannot live my life like Carrie Bradshaw, but a little bit more responsibly. As women we have to realize who we are and what we want. Men or Women..whatever your preference is, are not like houses, they are not things we invest in to change and make our own. I'm not looking for any fixer-uppers, I can barely put myself back together let alone anyone else. Some women go through the trash looking for a mate then get mad when they get themselves someone who is reflection of that atmosphere. No One will treat you better than themselves, if they treat themselves like trash, there's no way they will treat you any better! Know yourself, what you want, and strive for it!!